Hide your squirrel in the Park

What a ridiculous country, I almost feel the Monty Python’s breath on my neck. Herds of crazy joggers passing you at all possible times of the day, for some reason carrying backpacks, which always makes me suspicious that they are secret agents just a minute ago dropped somewhere with the parachute which now became a part of a clever disguise. What if they are really some Russians on a mission, rushing to a meeting point with their Iranian contact, just next to this ‘very characteristic’ tree in Hyde Park.

If they try to stick to their cover and pretend to be just regular crazy British joggers, getting fitter and fitter, running in the lovely London air, air conditioned by the double deckers and recently popular pink cabs. Brilliant! Mind (except for the gap) the possibility of getting wall-eye (discordant squint?) while trying to follow the ground signs...



The squirrels, eating massive produces Tesco brand, the cheapest pea- or hazel- nuts, went nuts or, as people don’t realize animals prefer the regular rather than roasted salty or chicken vinegar taste variety, are obese and lost their squirrely nature. Maybe it is the cruel vengeance of the Londoners from the suburbs, using 30 minutes to get to Hyde Park on furry, big-eyed rodents who don’t even need to pay rent for living in the very city centre. Let them suffer for their luck. Hell with the fact they are mere animals. The interest in this weird, apparently all resistant (how can one live in the centre of London?) animal is reflected in the recent new taste of Walker chips (chrisps? :P). Taste of squirrel. More than just squirrel, now, that would be only too simple, it’s Cajun Squirrel. Maybe to dispel the suspicion they used the London squirrels they tried to direct the attention of the customers to more Asian regions. Or perhaps it is the first of many squirrel varieties. More than who is inclined to eat that, I would rather wonder who made a research on the topic. And if they can say that no animal suffered during it. If so, than I don’t believe in the naturalness of the product. How to make a decent squirrel extract without the involvement of the very inspiration for this taste. It will probably give the already malignant Brits another idea for a mean joke. Mock the Greek tragedy and feed Hyde Park squirrels with these chips. Wicked.



That is how they combine here the concepts of shit and royalty. Contrasts merged.